Have you ever noticed the complex emotions that lie beneath anger?
We often think of anger as an emotion on its own, but usually, it is a protective mechanism to shield us from feeling or dealing with more difficult emotions that our subconscious thinks we can not handle. In this blog post, we will discuss the concept of the “anger iceberg” and how it can help us identify underlying feelings beneath our anger. We will also explore how to cope with anger by addressing underlying issues and feelings triggering the angry behavior. Finally, we will discuss how societal attitudes and culture have socialized men to suppress many emotions except for anger and violence.
The Anger Iceberg Concept
The “anger iceberg” concept is a metaphor used to illustrate that beneath our visible expression of anger lies a range of other feelings that have been suppressed by our conscious mind. This expression was popularized in John Lee’s book The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man – where he explains that anger is an emotion that hides several other primary (or core) emotions such as fear, grief, sadness, disappointment, hurt, guilt or shame. He argues that when these deeper feelings are not allowed to be expressed they become repressed in the subconscious mind until they are triggered by certain situations or people.
Building Mindfulness Skills
To identify underlying feelings beneath your anger it is important to practice mindfulness skills so you can become aware of your body and mental state before you react angrily. This will allow you to pause and reflect on what is making you angry before responding in an emotional way which could potentially lead to regretful actions or words later on down the line. When addressing your angry behavior it is essential to build self-awareness skills so you can become aware of any triggers that cause your anger and address them constructively rather than reacting emotionally in the moment. It may also be beneficial for some people to seek professional help from a therapist who can provide guidance and support during this process.
Societal Attitudes Toward Emotions
It is no secret that society has socialized men—and sometimes women—to suppress many emotions except for anger and violence as a way of showing strength and power. Unfortunately, due to these social pressures, many individuals find themselves unable to express their true feelings out of fear or shame because they do not fit into traditional gender roles or expectations set forth by society at large. However, it is possible for us all—regardless of gender—to learn how to identify our true feelings beneath our angry behavior if we take the time necessary to build self-awareness skills and practice mindfulness techniques as outlined above.
Conclusion
It is natural for everyone—no matter their gender—to experience different levels of emotion throughout life including those associated with feeling anger. However, understanding why we get angry and recognizing any underlying emotions fueling this feeling helps us respond better when faced with challenging situations instead of reacting impulsively out of instinctual emotion alone. Therefore, taking the time necessary to uncover any hidden emotions underneath our visible expression of anger helps us cope more effectively with this emotion in a constructive manner rather than letting it control our behavior negatively. By building mindfulness skills and becoming aware of any triggers causing our angry reactions we can begin addressing these issues head-on instead allowing them to fester within ourselves without resolution until they come out in an unhealthy way later on down the line–ultimately leading us closer towards peace within ourselves instead further away from it!